I think that the first thing to point out is that not all Mormons are against gay marriage. It's an important thing for both sides to remember. My side can't call all Mormons hateful bigots, and your side cannot say that this belief is a necessary part of your religion.
That out of the way, here's one of my main problems with your problem: this belief that denying homosexuals the right to legal, state marriages, somehow makes other marriages more 'sacred'.
I've never met someone who, when pushed, has told me that married gay people make their own marriage less valid. I've also yet to meet a man who has actually admitted that he was perfectly straight until that gay couple moved in across the street and then magically the aura of their gayness made him suddenly aware of the beauty of the masculine form.
Another thing that nobody seems to bring up is the fact that people who are strongly attached to a religion almost never have state officiated, legal but non-religious weddings, the likes of which gay people across the nation are fighting for the right to have. You have weddings in churches, conducted by religious officials. The Mormon church actually has a second level of separation and the truly 'saved' have super secret temple marriages. No court has breathed a word about forcing churches to have to marry anyone they don't feel like performing a ceremony for. So, you already have that difference in sanctity. I know that people who get married in temple ceremonies count them as more sacred than those of us who wandered down to the county clerks' already, so can't that be enough?
Honestly, I'd argue that even if there weren't different venues for weddings, and different degrees for religiously recognized marriages, that all marriages were different from each other (and thereby not affecting each other) just because different people are getting married each time, with different plans, and any number of different circumstances.
Someone will undoubtedly argue that there are marriages that I would not allow. This is true, there are. I don't want to see old men marrying their 11 year old nieces. I don't want to see marriages where one party is not consenting. If your argument is that homosexuality is in any way as damaging as pedophilia, I'd like you to send me your address so that I can come over and kick you repeatedly and then possibly beat you with a stick. At that time you will be freely justified to not marry me as I have done legitimate damage to you- and hopefully you will have a better understanding of what is damaging, and what is a matter of consenting adults who really shouldn't have to have your permission to keep their business to themselves with a legal stamp of approval.
I also want you to know that it is never impressive when I read a piece about why gay people shouldn't have the right to get married that starts with, "I have gay friends." It just tends to make me think, "Well, you used to, before you went online and stated that you think their relationships are less legitimate than yours and that you want their government to discriminate against them, because your church being able to do so isn't enough. That probably cooled their feelings of friendship towards you."
Going back to my second paragraph up there- when people think about their own marriage, and whether it is damaged by the marriages of other people, they never say yes. You don't believe that gay marriage hurts you, you don't. You just feel that you have to be against it, because your church is and you need to validate that, in order to feel that the rest of it, that you are actually attached to, is not invalidated. Love your God, love your church leaders, have a relationship that they think is proper and right. Stop fighting this losing battle where you have to shape your entire country to your religion's specifications. Separation of church and state protects all of us, religious and not.
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